Politics in Africa

This guy is probably overcharging me is what I’m thinking as I sit in this minion-themed bus that’s as hot as a tin box can get in the Sub-Saharan equivalent of summer. The traffic’s long enough to get me thinking if it has any impact on our economy, maybe if our intersections were better planned I’d get paid on time and we’d eradicate malaria. We’ll never know though, this is Africa, we might wake up tomorrow and find out our roads are owned by China and they’re taking them to Nigeria because somebody in the government who doesn’t really work for the government decided that America is a better neo-colonialist or some even more complicated scenario. Trust me, everything goes. I might as well stand for public office in the next election, make a few promises and rent a car for a few hours a week, maybe I could get elected, it’s all about visibility I’m told but I personally think sheer lack of responsibility and absolute disregard for sane thinking is what all these elected ‘heroes’ have in common. You know what? I will stand for public office. Vote for me and I will build you a stadium bigger than the Maracana using my meager public service salary, I will buy a bigger car so as to stop embarrassing my constituents, I will fund-raise for your road accident victims with money meant to build you roads and curse the striking doctors who refuse to work because I stole their salary. Constant improvement? Why would I do that? I’m trying to get voted in for a second term so please, keep your expectations in check. I’ll give you heaven on earth though, just without any gold paved streets or perfect lives. Truth be told, I’ll probably just sell you purgatory since I’ve already sold heaven’s title deed to the devil and he has the guts to say it’s fake.But hey! I’m an African leader so please don’t act shocked.